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I know a lot of homosexuals who have had pain because they are Christians who want to follow Christ, so they do not give in to the same-sex sexual desires. But the world, and sometimes their family, sometimes other Christians in their church, wants them to give in to their sinful nature and "be themselves." To these Christians who experience same-sex attraction, this is one of the worst feelings. How could people who they love encourage them to sin? It makes them feel unloved and like people are not listening to them. And it makes them feel like their friends are going along with the world instead of putting Christ first. It makes them feel lonely.

I've been thinking about this a lot lately, and wondering if any Christian has experienced the same thing in regards to crossdressing, either from a wife, children, friends, parents, or their church?   It seems that far more crossdressers or ex-crossdressers are not "out" and public about their issues like very many people with same-sex attraction are now. So maybe you don't know how people in your life would even respond.
(04-11-2019, 12:09 AM)Barnabas Wrote: [ -> ]... I've been thinking about this a lot lately, and wondering if any Christian has experienced the same thing [others affirming their sin] in regards to crossdressing, either from a wife, children, friends, parents, or their church?   It seems that far more crossdressers or ex-crossdressers are not "out" and public about their issues like very many people with same-sex attraction are now. So maybe you don't know how people in your life would even respond.

I have not experienced others affirming my sin in this area - besides the general public via the internet, of course.  I've never really "come out" to anyone besides a few people (a pastor, my girlfriend/now fiancee, and another close, male friend).  They have all responded very lovingly, somewhat not understanding the sin as it is foreign to them, but since I portrayed it as sin they all agreed that it's wrong, sinful, and encouraged me in my fight.  Some continued to check in on me and have preached truths to me as well.

All that said, the world around us (including groups who call themselves Christians - and very well may be, although confused on this topic) not only encourage crossdressing, but harshly attack those who say it's wrong.  That causes so much confusion and frustration as it can frequently cause me to doubt the truths of scripture and of my own convictions (or really, I'd argue, the convictions of the Holy Spirit in me).  I know it's wrong to even just desire it, nevermind to act it out, but so much of those around us would say otherwise, which is very disheartening.

To those who haven't "come out," I would highly, highly encourage you to do it with someone like a pastor or other godly mentor (note: "godly" is key here!!).  A godly mentor like this will respond with love, will not demean you, but will encourage you to fight the sin that remains.  Besides some crazy spiritual work that God has done directly in me, the few conversations I've had with these wonderful people have easily been the strongest supports in my fight.  Not only does it provide accountability, but also encouragement that what we're doing is good, right, and worthwhile.  We need that kind of affirmation in a world that so frequently provides the opposite - to our detriment.
Hopeful, thank you for a great comment! It is really encouraging. What an encouragement to the rest of us to share with someone about our struggle so we can get the help and encouragement we need. I have also had really good experiences when telling people in my life about my struggle. They also responded well and didn't encourage me to give in.
I am not being encouraged by my wife or church family. However, I wish that they were slower to condemn and quicker to listen and at least try to understand. I am forever searching for friends; I'll take all I can get. I obviously found friends in the LGBT arena, and I have had to say "good-bye" to one who is the most like me I've ever met. But she encouraged me.
Hello Signpost, thanks for commenting. It's good to have another person engaging these forums and conversations.  I'm sorry for the difficulty you express.  I also wish the same as you that people would be quicker to try to understand and listen carefully before condemning, rather I'd prefer they not condemn at all. It's one thing to tell someone that their crossdressing behavior is displeasing to God and a sin, and another thing to condemn someone.

As you are searching for friends, you are welcome in this place. It's just an online platform, which cannot meet your deep need for friendship, but at least know that you are welcome here and we are glad to talk to you.

You say you found friends in the LGBT arena. You speak as if that was past tense? What happened? They are no longer friends?
(12-14-2021, 12:50 AM)Barnabas Wrote: [ -> ]Hello Signpost, thanks for commenting. It's good to have another person engaging these forums and conversations.  I'm sorry for the difficulty you express.  I also wish the same as you that people would be quicker to try to understand and listen carefully before condemning, rather I'd prefer they not condemn at all. It's one thing to tell someone that their crossdressing behavior is displeasing to God and a sin, and another thing to condemn someone.

As you are searching for friends, you are welcome in this place. It's just an online platform, which cannot meet your deep need for friendship, but at least know that you are welcome here and we are glad to talk to you.

You say you found friends in the LGBT arena. You speak as if that was past tense? What happened? They are no longer friends?

***

I started my counseling career in chemical dependency, so I know that staying away from "people, places, and things" which my brain associates with my addiction is essential, so I cut them off.  My wife insisted I do this.