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How many of you have an accountability system with rewards and punishments, so that you have some sort of consequence for yourself if you have a crossdressing failure, or perhaps you have a reward given to you by yourself or your accountability partner or your wife for a long season of victory with no failure?

If so, what are your ideas and suggestions?

I'm talking about consequences like - fasting, or giving money away, or going without internet for a few days, or giving up movies for a few days
I'm talking about rewards like - going out to eat to celebrate, a new toy/gadget, doing something fun that would normally be something you wouldn't get to do
giving money away would affect my family too much, fasting requires a level of discipline that is lacking... I've found its easier to fast with someone else than just by yourself. 
I'm a glutton so going out to eat sounds great, but freedom from one sin to go indulge another sounds backward to me. 
I've wanted to buy a telescope and maybe it would be reasonable to set that as a goal, but what is a reasonable amount of time to ask of someone practically falling daily either in the mind or the flesh? 

Cal
I think the rewards and punishments shouldn't be primary. If someone is failing almost every day, then there are other issues that need to be addressed to get out of the addiction cycle first. It might mean some serious accountability help from other people, and maybe some serious action to reduce temptations and opportunities to sin, until you've had a period of calm and not giving in.

But for those that are out of the addiction, but just trying to resist new temptation when it comes, I think fasting along with your accountability could be a good thing, fasting and praying together.

Setting a reward like a telescope sounds good to me. Maybe if you don't give in for 6 months straight? It's nice to have something to look forward to. Obviously such a reward is not your real reason for not giving in, but it can help.
(02-22-2020, 06:35 AM)Barnabas Wrote: [ -> ]I think the rewards and punishments shouldn't be primary. If someone is failing almost every day, then there are other issues that need to be addressed to get out of the addiction cycle first. It might mean some serious accountability help from other people, and maybe some serious action to reduce temptations and opportunities to sin, until you've had a period of calm and not giving in.

I did have accountability but every meeting ended with more confusion, bitterness which made me more resistant to advice. I'll email you the details. I'd never share it publicly.
I have a problem with rewards and punishments. It used to be that I would reward myself for doing something good or getting something right by dressing up! I also had a very bad habit, that if I got angry with the wife or life I would dress up in revenge (not that she or the world ever new this). Punishment was not dressing up when I actually wanted to do so, but how often did I actually carry out the punishment!

I am in a comfortable situation, very well travelled and have everything that I desire materially - I actually don't want a lot - and have never been very ambitious, getting a degree in midlife satisfied my ambitions. So as my one reward mechanism is now forbidden, I have given a lot of thought to new rewards but am struggling to find something suitable. Something that I would not normally want or be able to get hold of easily. I would be interested in what other people would reward them selves with and why. Perhaps I can get some inspiration from some of you?