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Merry Christmas!
Forum: General Discussion
Last Post: Barnabas
12-25-2021, 01:18 AM
» Replies: 1
» Views: 281
Reality is less appealing...
Forum: Crossdressing Discussions
Last Post: Barnabas
12-21-2021, 02:45 AM
» Replies: 6
» Views: 1,658
Fear and Envy
Forum: Crossdressing Discussions
Last Post: Barnabas
12-18-2021, 12:53 AM
» Replies: 19
» Views: 17,305
What tempts you?
Forum: General Discussion
Last Post: Signpost
12-17-2021, 10:13 AM
» Replies: 6
» Views: 3,289
Great article on identity
Forum: Links to Share
Last Post: Barnabas
12-16-2021, 12:40 AM
» Replies: 6
» Views: 1,672

 
  Helpful or not to talk about CD in marriage?
Posted by: Barnabas - 07-23-2019, 08:38 AM - Forum: Wives Chat - Replies (1)

Ladies, if you know about your husband's crossdressing, but you also know that he is not giving in but fighting it..

Is it helpful to talk about the issue regularly or harmful?  This is a question a lot of guys wonder about.  Some of them want to talk about it regularly so that their wives understand them, their feelings, and their struggle, and so that their wives know they are still fighting and not giving in.  But guys also wonder if bringing up the topic causes images to appear in their wife's head, of the husband crossdressed, making the wife unattracted to her husband, thus killing or harming the sex life and attraction in the marriage.

Thoughts?

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  Identity - How do you call yourself?
Posted by: Barnabas - 07-12-2019, 08:04 AM - Forum: General Discussion - Replies (9)

What do you call yourself? An ex-crossdresser, or a crossdresser, or a crossdresser in recovery, or a trans Christian, or an ex-trans Christian?  I'm not sure what we should call ourselves.

When it comes to same-sex attraction, there is a controversy in the Church, even among those who all agree that giving in physically to same-sex attraction is a sin. There are some Christians who I respect greatly who experience same sex attraction but do not want to call themselves "gay Christians" because they don't want to associate their temptation to sin as part of their identity. There are some Christians who I respect greatly who experience same sex attraction and who call themselves "gay Christians" even though they are committed to following Christ, not giving in to sin, and therefore are living celibate lives. 

This issue recently came up in the General Assembly of the Presbyterian Church of America. Here is a very powerful video clip and testimony from the discussions they had:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NkWdMBQy...e=youtu.be


I tend towards the argument that says we should not go "gay Christian" if we are a Christian who has same sex attraction. But I don't want to be legalistic on that issue. I can really see both viewpoints, and they both make sense.  What do you think?

When it comes to crossdressing, there isn't a handy term like "gay" to describe us. The closest that we get is Transgendered or Transvestite. Neither of those are very helpful. "Transvestite" has mostly fallen out of use, and I think it would mainly describe someone who is actually giving in to the behavior. "Transgendered" would only fit for those who are experiencing some kind of gender dysphoria, and not many of us who used to crossdress. I also think "transgendered" would not fit most of the people in this community well because we don't believe that it is right to try to live like the opposite sex, we aren't giving in. We are living as men, not living "trans" lives.

I'm not sure what term we should use.  I know for me, I don't like going by crossdresser, because it's not a primary part of my identity. And I'm also not giving in to those temptations.  Maybe best is just saying, "I am Christian who sometimes experiences desires to crossdress but I don't give in."  That's long, but sometimes there just isn't a short way to describe it. I would even want to add that I am experiencing less desire to crossdress with each passing year.

What do you think?

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  Interesting Video about Pride Month
Posted by: Barnabas - 07-02-2019, 09:12 AM - Forum: Homosexuality Discussions - No Replies

Thoughts?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PyJFPysz...e=youtu.be

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  Articles for Dealing with Failures
Posted by: Barnabas - 06-28-2019, 01:11 PM - Forum: Links to Share - No Replies

The time after a failure is so difficult, and sometimes even if we know that the Bible says God forgives us in Christ, we have trouble believing it. Here are two good articles to help you with this sort of feeling -

How to Fight when you Fail
https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/how...baBs-9Sxe0

Is God Angry at me When I Sin?
https://www.desiringgod.org/interviews/i...g-articles

This 2nd article is particularly helpful I think, especially in the summary Piper gives:
"God’s punitive anger — that is, his punishing or condemning anger — is completely absorbed by Christ when he died. He became a curse for us. He bore our sin. But God may still be angry and displeased and grieved toward his beloved children in a disciplinary sense rather than a condemning sense."

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  Pray for those who are lost
Posted by: Barnabas - 06-28-2019, 01:03 PM - Forum: Prayer Requests - No Replies

There are many people drowning in their sins of addiction and crossdressing. Pray for them, even if you don't know them by name. Pray that God would convict them and show them the light, and show them how to find freedom in Him.

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  Article to share
Posted by: Barnabas - 06-21-2019, 10:46 AM - Forum: Links to Share - No Replies

This is an article basically about why crossdressing is sinful, looking at why it is harmful, more than looking at Scripture passages -

https://www.focusonthefamily.com/family-...n-behavior

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  Anti-freedom laws
Posted by: Barnabas - 06-01-2019, 01:52 AM - Forum: Transgender Discussions - Replies (2)

https://www.nbcnews.com/feature/nbc-out/...n-n1012581

How long before my blog is against the law? Perhaps they are already seeing it as against the law since I try to help people be content with their body that they were born with, and help people to be content to be men.

The article says if you believe transgender is a mental illness, that you believe in conversion therapy. And it says, "Therapy that seeks to change minors' sexual orientation or gender identity is now illegal in Colorado."

The activists keep pushing the definition of "conversion therapy" to include any therapy that does not celebrate and affirm homosexuality and transgenderism.

Thoughts?

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  Low self-esteem
Posted by: Barnabas - 05-31-2019, 02:45 AM - Forum: Crossdressing Discussions - No Replies

From reading books and blog posts, it seems like most crossdressers grew up with very low self-esteem, low view of their masculinity, not fitting in with others, shy, not confident about their looks, etc.

I'm just wondering if there are any crossdressers out there who grew up feeling very secure in their masculinity and very strong and confident, but still developed a crossdressing addiction?

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  Dreams
Posted by: Barnabas - 05-31-2019, 02:41 AM - Forum: General Discussion - No Replies

What strategies do you employ to avoid having dreams about crossdressing?

Some things I try to do:
1. Pray for safety from bad dreams before going to sleep, asking God to give me good dreams from him.
2. Of course I try to avoid pictures of crossdressers and things of that nature throughout the day.

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  Testimonies, including first non-binary person
Posted by: Barnabas - 05-16-2019, 12:51 PM - Forum: Testimonies - No Replies

Here are some interesting testimonies:
 
1. "I was America's First 'Nonbinary' Person. It was all a Sham."
https://www.dailysignal.com/2019/03/10/i...ll-a-sham/
 
While he is careful not to portray himself as a victim, he notes how many people along the way helped him to further his confusions, some of them out of fear of transgender activists, rather than treating his real psychological problems.
 
 
2. These testimonies are all from an organization / blog that I found called - 4th Wave Now. "A community of parents & others concerned about the medicalization of gender-atypical youth and rapid-onset gender dysphoria (ROGD)." 
Though the author of the site disagrees with with me concerning issues of religion, I think this is an important website, and there is a ton of information and so many good articles to read at this site. Perusing the posts, I see a lot about dealing with the threats trans activists make about how your children will commit suicide if they don't transition right away, the unhelpfulness of the medical community, and parents trying to figure out how to respond to their children who are experiencing the pain of gender dysphoria.
 
https://4thwavenow.com/about/
 
Here are two good testimonies that I found from the site -
 
https://4thwavenow.com/2019/02/27/a-gran...e-project/
 
"It's not conversion therapy to learn to love your body: A teen desister tells her story"
https://4thwavenow.com/2017/11/07/a-teen...her-story/

I thought this last testimony had an excellent analysis of dysphoria, what it feels like, and how to deal with it and think about it.

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