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Reality is less appealing than fiction - Printable Version

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Reality is less appealing than fiction - Barnabas - 08-14-2020

Anyone else feel pretty much no desire for actual crossdressing, but still have desire for crossdressing fiction?  It is an extremely rare day at this point in my life that crossdressing has any appeal, it just seems like it will be really stupid and that I would look really stupid anyway.  I certainly wasn't like that many years ago.  Maybe it's just too hard for me to deceive myself in actual CD now. I see it for what it is.   But the temptations for fantasy still come sometimes.   In fantasy, you read a story about a male actually looking like a beautiful woman, something which would never be the case in real life.  For me, the best thing I found to fight against fantasy is having an internet filter. That took away the problem almost completely besides the occasional dream about crossdressing or the occasional time of needing to resist thinking on a fantasy as I drift off to sleep.   What do you do to fight the fantasizing?


RE: Reality is less appealing than fiction - Signpost - 12-17-2021

For me, CD is a fiction in of itself, or perhaps realer than this temporary physical dimension. Reality stinks. I settled for my wife, whose personality is more masculine than a stereotypical woman (but THAT'S okay for some reason! ). Marriage is hard work, but ours is harder than marriage should be in my opinion. Or maybe the benefits don't make the work worth it. I have a Masters Degree, but every time I get a job in my chosen field, something stupid happens, and I have to leave. The redeeming quality of my life on earth is my kids. They are great, especially when compared to the monsters secular society is producing. My spiritual and devotional life has no benefit for me, and, just like my marriage, I only do things in order to please the other Person in the relationship. Now that I've stopped CD and banished awesome friends from my life, I feel like a part of me is dead, and all that's left is what society expects - a lazy, incompetent human with no memory and is only good for fertilizing eggs (except that I had a vasectomy, so I'm not good for that anymore either). At least now I know firsthand how women have felt for the last 6,000 years, thought of as worth not much more than cattle who produce humans instead of meat or dairy. I gave my feminine side a name, she was my ticket to self-love. She was all the things about myself I could love. And my wife made me kill her. So Reality stinks even more now. And I'm supposed to feel peaceful about the fact that the world is beginning to invent the Mark of the Beast and soon we'll be hunted down and exterminated BECAUSE when that's all over, Jesus will come back. I always thought that adulthood would make the awful childhood I had worth going through. Wrong. I always thought being married would make living through the loneliness of being single worth it. Wrong. I'm sure Jesus being back will make the last 6,000 years worth it much less the final 7, but I can't hold my emotional breath that long. I need to feel good NOW. Or else I'm not living; I'm just existing.


RE: Reality is less appealing than fiction - Barnabas - 12-18-2021

Signpost, pardon me if you have shared this already, have you been able to see a counselor or pastor about the pain you are feeling? I highly suggest getting help. Your pain and hurt is real. It's not good to deal with it alone.


RE: Reality is less appealing than fiction - Signpost - 12-18-2021

(12-18-2021, 12:57 AM)Barnabas Wrote: Signpost, pardon me if you have shared this already, have you been able to see a counselor or pastor about the pain you are feeling? I highly suggest getting help. Your pain and hurt is real. It's not good to deal with it alone.
I had a professional counselor, but she was in favor of CD, so I quit.  I see a retired pastor now, but he can't do the empathy part.


RE: Reality is less appealing than fiction - Barnabas - 12-19-2021

Hard to find good counselors these days who haven't bought into the sexual revolution! Sorry to hear that.   I encourage you to think about joining our prayer group (which is 20 times more active than this public forum).  https://healingfromcrossdressing.org/prayer-group/


RE: Reality is less appealing than fiction - Signpost - 12-20-2021

(12-19-2021, 01:11 AM)Barnabas Wrote: Hard to find good counselors these days who haven't bought into the sexual revolution! Sorry to hear that.   I encourage you to think about joining our prayer group (which is 20 times more active than this public forum).  https://healingfromcrossdressing.org/prayer-group/
Okay.  I applied.  Will I be emailed to confirm my email address?  The group page keeps prompting me to enter my information again, and I didn't see an option to log in.


RE: Reality is less appealing than fiction - Barnabas - 12-21-2021

(12-20-2021, 10:13 AM)Signpost Wrote:
(12-19-2021, 01:11 AM)Barnabas Wrote: Hard to find good counselors these days who haven't bought into the sexual revolution! Sorry to hear that.   I encourage you to think about joining our prayer group (which is 20 times more active than this public forum).  https://healingfromcrossdressing.org/prayer-group/
Okay.  I applied.  Will I be emailed to confirm my email address?  The group page keeps prompting me to enter my information again, and I didn't see an option to log in.

Did you get my email to you?