Help with a trigger
#1
A little background:

I’ve been fortunate to find a good counselor who specializes in Christians dealing with addictions including sexual addictions. One of the things we’ve been talking about is identifying and evaluating triggers, and the seeing if we can see what the need is behind it and figure out how to address that need in a more appropriate manner than cross dressing. 

So here’s my problem... I’ve had an experience that is a trigger, and I’ve written a journal entry to try to address it, but I can’t make the mental leap from taking it from the fantasy, to figuring out what the need really is and how to address that as a man instead of as a pretend woman. I’ve pasted my journal entry below... WARNING!!!!! It’s somewhat explicit, and if you think my trigger/fantasy might trigger you please don’t read it. But if you do, I sure could use some help identifying what the real need is or the real gain is.


[font=.SF UI Text][font=.SFUIText-Semibold]The most recent trigger is a nylon covered ankle in pretty high heels I saw getting out of a car on in a movie. It was supposed to be sexy, and it definitely was...she was. I’m not sure what the image is telling me about the “what” or “why” of the urge, but I want to reproduce it. I want the experience of the feel of that material. I want the beauty of the image, I want the sexiness of the presentation. The desire to be desired. I lust for the lusting. I want the sexual attention. (Side note...went looking for a picture to add here, and that was stupid. Totally made my heart race and desire increase, it’s almost overpowering.) I want to have a man look at me with that desire. I want to be touched and caressed. I want the feel of someone running their hands over my nylon covered legs. I need to stop this listing of things now, because it’s making it worse. I need to look at these desires and use my steps... stepped away for a few minutes, fed the dog, ate a little breakfast.... I came back to reread and meditate. Rereading took me right back. But by typing here it’s refocused my mind. What could the real need be that is manifesting itself this way. Surely lust is involved but that’s got to be secondary.  What is it that is causing my desire, what is my real need that is manifesting itself this way?[/font][/font]
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Messages In This Thread
Help with a trigger - by Privateaccount1964 - 09-05-2019, 07:09 AM
RE: Help with a trigger - by Karen - 09-05-2019, 07:36 AM
RE: Help with a trigger - by Barnabas - 09-06-2019, 10:40 PM
RE: Help with a trigger - by Privateaccount1964 - 09-07-2019, 07:21 PM

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