Help with a trigger
#4
(09-06-2019, 10:40 PM)Barnabas Wrote: Private, thank you so much for asking such a good question.  I think lust is a far bigger factor here than you are giving it credit for. The more I've healed from crossdressing addiction, the more I've realized that a lot of the gender dysphoria issues were smaller than I talked about them being, I think they were often self deceptions to rationalize what was really about lust.  

However, the desire to be desired, the desire to be attractive, to be beautiful, is strong, and I've written a lot of posts about that, so I encourage you to keep reading my blog posts. Girls grow up in our culture constantly being complimented about everything from both men and also other women. Boys grow up receiving very little compliments. And I'm not just talking about compliments on looks, but compliments in general.  That can make us grow up feeling very undesirable and unattractive.  We see the compliments girls get for their beauty and we want some of that too.  

Spiritually, you must take time weekly to reflect on how God finds you beautiful as his child.  Dwell on Psalm 139 (I have a post on that too).
Practically, it really helps to start taking more time on your appearance as a man. With your wife, or by yourself, go out and buy some nicer clothes. Start dressing up more. Don't dress like a slob. Don't dress in super baggy clothes. Wear clothes that fit your body and make you look nice. Wear ties or hats or a watch or something interesting. Play around with beard and moustache styles. Get off the couch, go jogging, lift weights, get some muscles. If you take pride in your appearance as a man, trust me, this will really help a lot. It has helped me to feel a lot more desirable as a man.  And if your wife knows about your issues, tell her how much it helps you to receive compliments on your appearance.

Thank you
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Messages In This Thread
Help with a trigger - by Privateaccount1964 - 09-05-2019, 07:09 AM
RE: Help with a trigger - by Karen - 09-05-2019, 07:36 AM
RE: Help with a trigger - by Barnabas - 09-06-2019, 10:40 PM
RE: Help with a trigger - by Privateaccount1964 - 09-07-2019, 07:21 PM

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