Great article on identity

[Barnabas]

20 Quotes from a New Book on How to Be True to Yourself

https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/artic...-yourself/

[Signpost]

"Love doesn't come from your picture being liked but by your soul being enjoyed- first by God and then by friends who like you." I don't feel loved by others, and God is invisible, inaudible, and all around imperceptible unless you're called to an extremely special purpose, He finds favor with you, or you are willing to kneel with your couch as an altar long enough to catch His timing.

[Barnabas]

Signpost, I understand well, I think, how you feel. There was a time in my life I also felt like God was distant and that I couldn't feel his presence. I don't feel that way right now though.

I don't know you at all, but let me ask you a couple questions if I may. Have you ever tried to talk to God before?
Have you ever read any of the Bible before?

[Signpost]

Signpost, I understand well, I think, how you feel. There was a time in my life I also felt like God was distant and that I couldn't feel his presence. I don't feel that way right now though.

I don't know you at all, but let me ask you a couple questions if I may. Have you ever tried to talk to God before?
Have you ever read any of the Bible before?

***

I try to "pray without ceasing", and I have read through the Bible several times and used several different devotionals including the Bible app, and currently I am working through the Through the Word app by Kris Langham.  I just finished the Old Testament.  My father was a pastor, and I accepted the Lord when I was 4.  I have been learning what exactly acceptance of the Lord truly is each day since then.

[Barnabas]

Reading what you wrote on the other thread, and then here, it sounds like you have had a hard relationship with your parents, but also learned about Christ from them. I wonder how much of your view of God was messed up a bit because of the bad relationship with your parents, and their constant fighting?  I'm just wondering if that could play a role in how you feel distant from God, maybe you internalized some things unconsciously. But I could be wrong, just speculating.

Regardless of the above, definitely you are praying and reading Scripture. That is great. But you don't feel like you hear from God through reading Scripture? You don't feel loved by Him? What is it like for you to pray and read Scripture? How do you feel afterwards?

[Signpost]

Reading what you wrote on the other thread, and then here, it sounds like you have had a hard relationship with your parents, but also learned about Christ from them. I wonder how much of your view of God was messed up a bit because of the bad relationship with your parents, and their constant fighting?  I'm just wondering if that could play a role in how you feel distant from God, maybe you internalized some things unconsciously. But I could be wrong, just speculating.

Regardless of the above, definitely you are praying and reading Scripture. That is great. But you don't feel like you hear from God through reading Scripture? You don't feel loved by Him? What is it like for you to pray and read Scripture? How do you feel afterwards?

The Word of God is certainly God's communication to us.  Once in a great while will I read something that is pertinent to my situation, and I will feel good about that.  I wish I were like the prophets, hearing God audibly on a regular basis. I struggle with wondering if a passage is for me or not.  In the Old Testament, people survived fire and lions,  but as soon as Jesus ascended, Nero used us as human torches and fed us to lions whose mouths were not kept shut.  I have Disthymia, a chronic but low-grade depression.  I don't ever get suicidal, but it is an up-a-sheer-cliff battle to escape "meh" and reach happy.  I have tried Prozac, Welbutrin, and a few others with not much help.  My doctor is going to take me off Prozac and put me on Lovax soon.  We'll see.  I am sure God loves me.  Something is wrong with my brain that I don't feel things I should, with few exceptions, one of which is CD.  So when I pray and read the Bible, it is more of a chore.  I do have some passion for it, though.  I am doing an independent study of Hebrew, which is teaching me context of the Bible that I never knew before.

[Barnabas]

Signpost, I'm sorry to hear about that depression that you have. I will pray for you right now.
Thank you for sharing about what you are going through. That makes sense. What came to my mind as I was reading your post was the Psalms of lament. There are so many which cry out to God about our pain, and our depression.  Yet they also end with trust in God even when the positive feelings are not there.